Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
I didn’t sleep well last night and therefore I’m feeling it today. I am irritable, grumpy, tired, blah….and just in a funk. I had bad dreams all night – dreamt about my lovey, blanket sucking dog Hunter and about having migraines so intense I couldn’t stand up. I was cold, yet I woke up soaking wet, covered in sweat. That’s always a good feeling….did I pee on myself or sweat for hours? It was the latter.
Just when I think I’m “in control” of any aspect of my life - WHAM…something else. I try not to be so pessimistic but there are definite times that’s all I’ve got. Like now.
Today is my D.Da’s birthday. He’s the big 3-0!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I’m looking forward to the holidays…sort of. I love the togetherness you feel around Thanksgiving & Christmas. The boys and I are joining my D-da’s family for turkey day. It’s been a while since we’ve seen them so I am looking forward to it. The dynamics are so different. They have a small family and therefore less drama. It will be nice!
Afterwards, we’ll drop off the boys with their dad to spend some time with his family. I’m still trying to figure out if there’s anything in the ads worth getting up at 5:00 AM but that was in my plan.
I need to get our new tree from my bro and put it up, have the kids help decorate …
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sing in the shower - Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated - Watch a sunrise at least once a year - Leave the toilet seat in the down position - Never refuse homemade brownies - Strive for excellence, not perfection - Plant a tree on your birthday - Learn three clean jokes - Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full - Compliment three people every day - Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them - Leave everything a little better than you found it - Keep it simple - Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures - Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know - Floss your teeth - Ask for a raise when you feel you've earned it - Be forgiving of yourself and others - Over tip breakfast waitresses - Say "thank you" a lot - Say "please" a lot - Avoid negative people - Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards - Wear polished shoes - Remember other people's birthdays - Commit yourself to constant improvement - Carry jumper cables in your trunk - Have a firm handshake - Send lots of Valentine cards. Sign them, "Someone who thinks you're terrific - Look people in the eye - Be the first to say "Hello" - Use the good silver - Return all things you borrow - Make new friends but cherish the old ones - Keep secrets - Sing in a choir - Plant flowers every spring - Have a dog - Always accept an outstretched hand - Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life - Wave a kids on school buses - Be there when people need you - Feed a stranger's expired parking meter - Don't expect life to be fair - Never underestimate the power of love - Drink champagne for no reason at all - Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation - Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake" - Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know" - Compliment even small improvements - Keep your promises (no matter what) - Marry only for love - Rekindle old friendships - Count your blessings - Call you mother
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
take time to tell your family and friends that you love them. say it often. mean it. don't wait until it's too late. show and tell them. don't wait for a special day. don't wait for tomorrow.
if your parents are still alive, tell them how much you appreciate all they taught you.
if you are a parent, tell your children, how proud you are of them. if you have a spouse, tell them what it is about them that you love.
So tell them, now, and every chance you get. you never know what the "bigger plan" is
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
...back in the day, there was a feature to print your screen, I needed to print a list of files and low and behold, you can still do it.
If you want to know how, you have to email me. :-)
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tonight I'm getting my hair cut. I've been letting it grow and it's starting to look long, but....I think it may be boring. We'll see what I end up with! It'll be a surprise, even to me.
Monday, October 27, 2008
It's Monday and we've had an action packed, fun filled weekend that has left me exhausted! I managed to make it through the day but I am falling fast. Tonight we're having chicken fajitas and I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE that I can take a nice, long, uninterrupted bath and turn in early. Wish me luck!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I promise not to bore you with every detail of consumption, just bear with me while I get this going!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
mason: mom...when 2 people get married, how does that put a baby in the girls stomach?
[GULP! I stayed silent for a moment, trying my best to defer the question and maybe come up with a good response.]
mason: mom, did you hear me?
me: Yes. Can we talk about it tomorrow?
mason: but can you just tell me a little bit right now?
[remember rylan is here too, so i don't want to say too much]
me: When the boy and girl are in love, they kiss, and he puts a seed inside her that makes a baby grow. I'll tell you more tomorrow
which translates into, let me search the internet and find the best and most simple approach to explaining the birds and the bees.
Gotta do some research!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Matt and Ana are expecting their first baby boy sometime today! I am anxiously awaiting the call!
Doggies. Part of me wishes I would get over this pet fascination. I don’t know where it came from. It’s probably been with me for a long time. We always had dogs and cats as I was growing up, but not until Rylan was 2 years old, did I REALLY want a doggie companion. Maybe it was a yearning for another child, and I could replace that need with a pet which is much more low maintenance! This little girl is such a cutie. Her name is Cassie and I want her! http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=11964361
Politics. I don’t even know where to begin. I’m not much of a political person but I do realize that this election is very important (not like any other election is less important) and it will probably be a close call, so my vote will count. I’m just still not sure who I’m voting for.
I took pictures of me & my tutu last night, but I’m not willing to put them on my blog. Apparently I see myself through rose colored glasses…J I know I’m not small, but when I walk out the door every day, I take a look in the mirror and think – not too bad, Tobey. Photos, on the other hand..especially full body photos…yea, well, don’t show a good version of me. It’s definitely not the same me I see in the mirror. SO….tomorrow I start weight watchers. I’m usually not good when it comes to diets, but I’ll give it a try. 20 pounds by Christmas is my goal.
My mind is all over the place today.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
amidst my fury of emotions is a big one that keeps jumping out. i hate to be a whine bag, but...good things don't normally happen to me. in the last year alone, i've lost a business, filed for bankruptcy and divorced. that is one year people! i've been so happy lately, apparently i'm beaming from delight. because i have this negativity stuck in my soul, i think something is going to happen that will change all of my beaming. i'm so happy, i'm terrified. ~~clenched fists, biting nails~~
I need therapy!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
With that said.....today is another day. I had a rather relaxing evening last night -- minimal arguing among the kids. We found the escaped momma hamster. My love muffin called this morning to make sure I woke up, so I wasn't rushing around the house. It's a good day! :-)
HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Some people never cease to amaze me. Ever heard the phrase, blood is thicker than water? Well….some people haven’t. Apparently to some, family means “the people you can talk about and make assumptions about, yet never confront”. Just because you THINK you know about someone, or have “heard”….well, that’s an assumption. If you want to know something, ask. If it bothers you, talk. If you don’t have the balls, drop it. People may have questioned decisions I have made over the last year, but if you haven’t talked to me personally, then you probably really don’t know. If it’s jealousy, admit it to yourself and move on. Get counseling. That’s what it’s there for. You may not agree with everything I do, but have you ever thought that you’re not perfect either? I don’t think I would have made the same decisions you did, but I’m also not out talking about it and putting YOU down. You are not in my shoes. You do not know me.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
i felt glowing this morning but on my drive in, i did a lot of thinking and generally, that's not good. well -- i guess it depends. regardless, now i'm kinda in a funk. just thinking about the last year and all that has happened and then thinking of my future, and what will happen.
gotta go --- must cry
Monday, September 29, 2008
I had not planned to blog about the demise of my marriage; however, it has weighed heavily on my mind lately and, as you know, blogging is my “release”.
Writing about the end of a marriage is not easy. J- and I separated in February and in August, our divorce was finalized. There’s usually no one reason a marriage ends. There were faults on both sides. I hate the cliché, “We grew apart,” but in our case, it really was true. We had nothing in common. Our goals and dreams were not on the same page….not even in the same book. You never walk down the aisle with divorce in mind. I’m sure I had unrealistic expectations about our future together. I’m a dreamer. I was in love. Twelve years. It was a long time. A big ole chunk of my life. I will never say my marriage was a mistake nor was it a failure. We produced three amazing little boys that are my entire world and I thank him for that.
This was the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Every day I woke up thinking I did not have the strength to get through the process. I knew it was right and the best decision for me and the boys-- nonetheless, it was hard. I had an amazing support system. My sister and a few dear friends held my hand every step of the way. I questioned the decision often early on. I felt selfish, ashamed, embarrassed. Quite frankly, I was an emotional rollercoaster. I wish I say that J- and I are on good terms, but there is frequent divorce drama. I’ve heard that it will get better in time. I hope so.
Today, I can look back and I feel very triumphant. I did it. I feel in control of my life.
I am happy.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Over the last several years, I’ve been so caught up in being a mom and wife that I lost a bit of me, so I decided to find me~
I keep a spiral at my bedside because nighttime is when my brain seems to focus on things other than the hustle bustle of my life, so I started writing down the things that I think make me happy. Some are material, others feelings, or thoughts.
What makes me happy:
- Wishing on a star
- The perfect song, at the perfect time
- Chic flicks
- Long walks
- A lazy day
- Swinging at the park
- The Beach
- Walking barefoot in the grass
- The smell of play doh
- The smell of coconut
- A long soak in the bathtub
I encourage you to make your happy list. Do it. Guaranteed to make you smile!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Guys, if you are still clueless – read on.
Tell her you admire her
When she’s upset, hold her tight
Pick her over all your other friends
Play with her hair
Talk to her
Tell her jokes
Bring her flowers just because
Hold her hand
Let her fall asleep in your arms
Sing to her no matter how awful you sound
Push her on a swing
Tell her she is beautiful
Look into her eyes and smile
Slow dance with her even if there’s no music
Kiss her in the rain
And when you fall in love with her….tell her
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Lose the premium channels on your cable TV. Not a chance in hell
Lose your pay-per-view converter. It's cheaper than late fees
Lose cable altogether. One luxury that I need
Lose TV altogether. Refer to #1 on the list
Walk and ride your bike more and use your car less. My love muffin & I are going bike riding this weekend
When you drive in your car, use your radio less and embrace silence more. Yes, I do, on occasion. Although I find music to be very therapeutic
Set aside a few minutes each day for quiet prayer or reflection. I don't have a few minutes
Give money away. I wish I had enough to share. Unfortunately, that is NOT the case
Give stuff away. Working on this one
Throw stuff away. This too
Eat less meat. If I think about the original source, I would eat less meat
Eat less. Yes - thank you adipex
Drink water, juice, and milk more, soft drinks and alcohol less. Right now, some alcohol is essential for my sanity
Bake bread from scratch in your own kitchen. I'm not Betty Crocker
Take a nap. LOVE naps
Read some history. Wish I could but it must be interesting
Write some poetry. roses are red...
Hum, sing, or whistle, even if you have a tin ear. I have a few songs that I sing my heart out
Walk outside and find something beautiful (or not-so-beautiful) that's growing; then just stare it for a while. Then stare at it some more. good idea
It is a work in progress that we have a few kinks to work out but overall, it's working. Dalton is so excited he wakes at 5:30 AM (well before I get up) to get ready, shower and eat breakfast. Mason is NOT my early riser. I literally drag his feet off the bed until he's hanging, at which point he finally stands up. Rylan just requires a little attention and silliness to get moving. All in all, not a big change from our summer routine.
I really am blessed to have such amazing boys.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. -Denis Waitley
You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy. -Eric Hoffer
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within. - Ramona L. Anderson
Day 2: Up at the crack of dawn, before 6 AM and get on the boat. The mosquitoes were awful. For some reason, the mosquitoes in this area are the size of small birds. We head out. I sit on the floor of the boat because I feel safer. We start our adventure. The boat was going so freaking fast, I was a nervous wreck……where are my xanax? Beth and I both were preparing for the boat to flip at any given moment. Our knuckles were white from gripping every part of the boat that we thought would hold us in. We finally get to the point where we’ll stop and start fishing. Poor Beth. She got sick. She asked for the coast guard, but this really was not a medical emergency. I got a bite. It was big. I had to put the belt on. I had my feet pressed against the side of the boat, belt on, Dennis holding me, then holding my pole. This fish was not giving up. I fought him for a while and ultimately, the line broke. BUMMER! I had a big one. We continued on fishing in different locations. Dennis caught a kingfish and a pink fish, I caught some bait fish – as did Jon, but no keepers. Did I mention Beth was still sick? Yea….she was sick the entire day. Oh….and I caught three fish at one time, that’s impressive, right?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Okay, a few clarifications...just for you NIN! The water was quite blue becasue we were so far out. I even jumped in (aka fell in) then got a little panicky about sharks so I pee'd in the water and got out. LMAO!!!
AND....I am SO sad that I will not get to spend the weekend with my favorite sister in law and the boy bun in the oven, but I will be camera happy and take lots of pics for your viewing pleasure. Luv u nin! :-)
So I’ve been watching this show on TLC called “Must Love Kids”. It is about three women, all divorced, with children, who are ready to find love. Quite enlightening, considering my current situation… So last night I watch as we go on individual dates. See—reality TV does that. I say ‘we’ as if I’m on the date too. LOL! Kristin was on a date with David, the landscape contractor and over dinner he asks…what makes you happy? That got me thinking. I’m on a path of self discovery. So what makes ME happy….give me the weekend to ponder and I’ll have my happy list by next week.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
As most of you are aware, my mom has been in and out of the hospital since April due to complications from polycystic liver disease. Polycystic disease is a genetic disease characterized by the growth of numerous cysts on the liver. While she was diagnosed with this disease over twenty-five (25) year ago, this is the first instance of the disease rearing its ugly head.
We have spent countless hours at various medical facilities for consultations, surgery, catheter placement and replacement, as well as emergency room visits and extensive tests to add her to the liver transplant list.
Ultimately, it was determined that the best course of action is a liver re-section. This procedure entails removing half of the liver and re-routing the bile ducts and reconnecting to the intestines. The surgery is scheduled for August 5th at 7:00 AM and will last approximately 4-5 hours. She will be in the hospital at Methodist Central in Dallas for 5-7 days. The doctors have advised us that the first 24 hours are the most critical as her body will either accept or reject the changes to her liver.
For the most part, she has been in high spirits but as the surgery date gets near, she is beginning to worry, as we all are – but we remain optimistic.
Please keep family in your thoughts and prayers.
Monday, July 28, 2008
The journey has not been simple, but I am finding a new me.
I am regaining a sense of power and control of my life. I am finding lost pieces of myself that lie buried in happier times, many years ago. I laugh. I smile. I am focused on the positive things that I have to offer the world.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Things I blogged about long ago
- ► 2010 (16)
- ► 2009 (136)
- ▼ December (8)
- ► November (8)
- ► October (16)
- ► September (8)
- ► August (8)