Bad Carbs, Bad Carbs

a few weeks ago I decided to change my eating habits. A light bulb just went off and it all made sense. A started following the Eat Clean Diet (although I don't use the "D" word). Last Thursday/Friday, I started feeling sick and comforted myself with crackers, mashed potatoes, 7 up -- carb-a-palooza. Then I realized I never really bounced back. I kept eating crap...quite frankly it's so conveient. Then I thought - thanksgiving is coming, I'll screw up then anyway, so instead of eating good and "cheating" on one day, I made it week long. Yesterday as I munched at my desk on Coca Cola and chocolate chip cookies, I started thinking -- I feel tired, bloated, blah and the common factor was that I went back to eating bad. Today I'm back on track. Yes, I know thanksgiving is tomrorow but it is one day, not a pass to eat bad for a month. I had fruit for breakfast and for lunch had grilled chicken with a salad. No Dr. Pepper today. Just tea. I do feel better. Fat + Carbs = Feel like crap. Not an equation I have time for.

Wordless Wednesday

--not because I have nothing on my mind or to discuss, quite the opposite. VERY busy lately. The Thanksgiving holidays are sneaking up on me, kids are busy with school, I'm trying to monitor their school work and help where I can, trying to stretch the dollar for christmas, bills, life in general.

Looking forward to a fun-filled weekend. Friday night is keeno with the girls. I really enjoy the girl time. Saturday love muffin and I are going to a party with fajitas and margaritas...talk about a good time. The rest of the weekend I need to fit in - searching for a range/oven for my rent house and coordinating a few contractors to give me bids for some work there.

busy-busy-busy

school projects

dalton just finished a project on sasquatch in which we had to do a shoe box with a "scene" and survival items. It was interesting. I think it looked good when we finished. Funny thing is that school projects really bring us together. Mason was coloring the tee pee, dalton gluing and I was cutting out trees.

mason's project (due next week) is to disguise a turkey. he wanted to go with elvis. it's funny.

Who are you?

ever feel like you really know someone, only to see them say/do something so out of character which makes you start to re-evaluate the relationship? it's been a foggy thought in my head this week. people change. i get that. but 360?

Changing for the better

I’m an emotional eater. I celebrate with food when I’m happy, console myself with food when I’m sad. Food helped me cope with my feelings and became a friend. Three kids and a failed marriage later, I’m at the heaviest I’ve ever been. I have continued to see myself through rose colored glasses. I knew I had gained because when my love muffin and I decided to go to Mexico for vacation, none of my summer clothes from the previous year fit. What the hell – I’ll go up a size, they’ll be comfortable when I lose this extra weight. Guess what? I’ve never lost it. Fall came and my clothes (again) from last season didn’t fit.

I used to enjoy going out, meeting with friends, etc. but now….I don’t. I know why. I’m embarrassed at the obese person I see in the mirror. A few months ago we met some friends at a concert. I’ll call them J (him) and L (her). I thought I looked okay, but when L walked in, heads turned…even mine. I want that for me, I want that for love muffin. I want him to be proud of me.

I don’t eat a balanced diet, unless you call burgers and fries balanced. I don’t allow any “me” time and exercise is purely non-existent. I’m disappointed in the person I have become. I’m always tired….exhausted actually. So much so, I was in bed at 8:00 last night and asleep by 9. My body aches. My hips hurt so much that I’ve had to put a pillow under my hips to sleep. I could blame my aging body but the truth points to my overweight body.

I contacted a long time friend yesterday. She made a dramatic slim down and I wanted her secrets. I knew the answer before I asked – eat right and exercise. Duh! It’s always been the answer, but I’ve continued to search for the quick fix, reached for the diet pills, whatever I could convince myself to turn the corner. For some reason, today I realized all that’s been in front of me for so long. One life – one body – one chance!

Today I ordered the books that will change my life….I feel it! The Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno. You basically eat balanced meals of protein, fruit, veggies and no sugar, flour….the bad stuff. I printed out the grocery list from the website (www.eatcleandiet.com) but will have more insight when the books arrive.

I haven’t owned scales in years. I bought some about a month ago that remain in the box. Tomorrow morning I will step on them and let reality slap me in the face. It will be more motivation! I know it will not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Wish me luck and tune in for my progress.

so sorry

for the few that actually read along, sorry for my non-existence in the blogosphere. I've been both busy and lazy. luckily, work is steady, home life is crazy and my downtime is minimal.

Friday night I went to a friend's house for a glass (ahem - bottle!) of wine. We sat and chatted for hours. It was great to catch up and relax a little.

Halloween night was not so glittery and sparkly like I wanted. Dalton has decided he was too old to dress up, Mason just wanted to wear a head wrap that looked like a dog and rylan's mummy costume was destroyed when he walked two houses down and returned to tell me he strings were coming off. I realized that night that I overextend myself which in turn puts unnecessary pressure on me to fulfill yet another obligation, so if I say no, don't be offended. :-) I think because I love halloween, I want my kids to get that excitement but I can't force it down their throats.

Sunday was laundry and grocery day. The boys spent the night with nana and pops so I drove to cedar creek lake to pick them up, came home, helped den with the laundry and went to the store for lunch necessities. It was daylight savings time and I was exhausted. it takes at least a week to adjust.