Dr. McDreamy

so this morning I go to the dr. for my annual check up. all is well. pretty pathetic that my doctor----the one that i see only once a year---- notices my uplifted mood. he said I was glowing. :-)

i felt glowing this morning but on my drive in, i did a lot of thinking and generally, that's not good. well -- i guess it depends. regardless, now i'm kinda in a funk. just thinking about the last year and all that has happened and then thinking of my future, and what will happen.

gotta go --- must cry

Deep stuff…the big “D”

I had not planned to blog about the demise of my marriage; however, it has weighed heavily on my mind lately and, as you know, blogging is my “release”.

Writing about the end of a marriage is not easy. J- and I separated in February and in August, our divorce was finalized. There’s usually no one reason a marriage ends. There were faults on both sides. I hate the cliché, “We grew apart,” but in our case, it really was true. We had nothing in common. Our goals and dreams were not on the same page….not even in the same book. You never walk down the aisle with divorce in mind. I’m sure I had unrealistic expectations about our future together. I’m a dreamer. I was in love. Twelve years. It was a long time. A big ole chunk of my life. I will never say my marriage was a mistake nor was it a failure. We produced three amazing little boys that are my entire world and I thank him for that.

This was the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Every day I woke up thinking I did not have the strength to get through the process. I knew it was right and the best decision for me and the boys-- nonetheless, it was hard. I had an amazing support system. My sister and a few dear friends held my hand every step of the way. I questioned the decision often early on. I felt selfish, ashamed, embarrassed. Quite frankly, I was an emotional rollercoaster. I wish I say that J- and I are on good terms, but there is frequent divorce drama. I’ve heard that it will get better in time. I hope so.

Today, I can look back and I feel very triumphant. I did it. I feel in control of my life.

I am happy.

Sick and tired

what do you get when you have 3 boys under the age of 12 and a mom who works in a petri dish? SICK! mason and i are both sick -- have been all week. completely unrelated illnesses but sick nonetheless. mason missed school all week. i missed 2 days of work. but.....i'm on the mend. i feel a lot better today and hopefully will continue to feel better through the weekend. wish me luck

Happy List

Over the last several years, I’ve been so caught up in being a mom and wife that I lost a bit of me, so I decided to find me~

I keep a spiral at my bedside because nighttime is when my brain seems to focus on things other than the hustle bustle of my life, so I started writing down the things that I think make me happy. Some are material, others feelings, or thoughts.

What makes me happy:

• Fishing
• Wishing on a star
• The perfect song, at the perfect time
• Chic flicks
• Long walks
• A lazy day
• Swinging at the park
• MUSIC
• Fireworks
• The Beach
• Walking barefoot in the grass
• The smell of play doh
• The smell of coconut
• Flowers
• A long soak in the bathtub
• Massage
  

I encourage you to make your happy list. Do it. Guaranteed to make you smile!

Not a Louisville Slugger

This morning I am scrambling to get the boys ready for school. Rylan was having a meltdown. Mason was wandering aimlessly around the house and I had misplaced my keys when I got home last night. Needless to say it was hectic. Dalton had already left to go to his bus stop which is about a block down the road. I was digging in my purse (still looking for keys) when I felt my phone vibrate. THIS is why I was running late. My ringer was off....AGAIN!!!! It's Dalton and he is all excited and says, "Mom, guess what....I found a bat". The excitement in his voice told me this was no Louisville Slugger but I needed to confirm. "A baseball bat?" I said. "No mom...a real live bat." I hope to scare him by telling him they bite, they carry rabies and if there's one, there are probably more. No such luck. I find my keys and we get in the car. I decide that I should probably go check out the bat situation. I find Dalton with a stick, and his friend with a cup. He says, "it makes a really cool noise". This poor little bat. I'm a sucker for small and fuzzy things. He was harmless...He had a broken wing and couldn't fly, or move much for that matter, other than flopping himself from side to side. Luckily the school bus came and Dalton and his friend got on. My car straddled the bat and off we went.

Look at the little fella. Harmless!

What a girl wants

What is the answer to this riddle of life? Girls want to be wined, dined, pampered and wowed. She wants to be treated like the queen that she is. She wants to be someone’s NUMBER ONE! Actually, these are not just wants, they are needs.

Guys, if you are still clueless – read on.
 Tell her you admire her
 When she’s upset, hold her tight
 Pick her over all your other friends
 Play with her hair
 Tickle her
 Talk to her
 Tell her jokes
 Bring her flowers just because
 Hold her hand
 Let her fall asleep in your arms
 Sing to her no matter how awful you sound
 Push her on a swing
 Tell her she is beautiful
 Look into her eyes and smile
 Kiss her
 Slow dance with her even if there’s no music
 Kiss her in the rain
 And when you fall in love with her….tell her

Rare Form

For those of you close to me, my family, friends and loved ones, I AM in rare form lately....I've been taking diet pills and I know from past experience that they can make me crabby but give a girl a break, I need to lose some weight (as professed by my lovely Mason last night) so, don't take it personally if I tend to be a little distant. In 20-30 pounds, I'll be back to normal! :-)

The boys are back in town.....

No....not a song. The boys come home today after a long weekend with their father. It's a refreshing, not to mention quiet break, but I am always ecstatic to see them.