Tuesday, September 30, 2008
i felt glowing this morning but on my drive in, i did a lot of thinking and generally, that's not good. well -- i guess it depends. regardless, now i'm kinda in a funk. just thinking about the last year and all that has happened and then thinking of my future, and what will happen.
gotta go --- must cry
Monday, September 29, 2008
I had not planned to blog about the demise of my marriage; however, it has weighed heavily on my mind lately and, as you know, blogging is my “release”.
Writing about the end of a marriage is not easy. J- and I separated in February and in August, our divorce was finalized. There’s usually no one reason a marriage ends. There were faults on both sides. I hate the cliché, “We grew apart,” but in our case, it really was true. We had nothing in common. Our goals and dreams were not on the same page….not even in the same book. You never walk down the aisle with divorce in mind. I’m sure I had unrealistic expectations about our future together. I’m a dreamer. I was in love. Twelve years. It was a long time. A big ole chunk of my life. I will never say my marriage was a mistake nor was it a failure. We produced three amazing little boys that are my entire world and I thank him for that.
This was the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Every day I woke up thinking I did not have the strength to get through the process. I knew it was right and the best decision for me and the boys-- nonetheless, it was hard. I had an amazing support system. My sister and a few dear friends held my hand every step of the way. I questioned the decision often early on. I felt selfish, ashamed, embarrassed. Quite frankly, I was an emotional rollercoaster. I wish I say that J- and I are on good terms, but there is frequent divorce drama. I’ve heard that it will get better in time. I hope so.
Today, I can look back and I feel very triumphant. I did it. I feel in control of my life.
I am happy.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Over the last several years, I’ve been so caught up in being a mom and wife that I lost a bit of me, so I decided to find me~
I keep a spiral at my bedside because nighttime is when my brain seems to focus on things other than the hustle bustle of my life, so I started writing down the things that I think make me happy. Some are material, others feelings, or thoughts.
What makes me happy:
- Wishing on a star
- The perfect song, at the perfect time
- Chic flicks
- Long walks
- A lazy day
- Swinging at the park
- The Beach
- Walking barefoot in the grass
- The smell of play doh
- The smell of coconut
- A long soak in the bathtub
I encourage you to make your happy list. Do it. Guaranteed to make you smile!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Guys, if you are still clueless – read on.
Tell her you admire her
When she’s upset, hold her tight
Pick her over all your other friends
Play with her hair
Talk to her
Tell her jokes
Bring her flowers just because
Hold her hand
Let her fall asleep in your arms
Sing to her no matter how awful you sound
Push her on a swing
Tell her she is beautiful
Look into her eyes and smile
Slow dance with her even if there’s no music
Kiss her in the rain
And when you fall in love with her….tell her
Things I blogged about long ago
- ► 2010 (16)
- ► 2009 (136)