I promise to blog better

Seriously, December since my last blog? ha! So much has happened since December. Dare I even dive in? Ahhhhh, I will briefly touch on it. Christmas ~ Holidays ~ Chaos. I love the holidays. Love - LOVE. I have a very large family so any holiday is loads of fun and smiles, and babies, and did I mention chaos? Nah, wasn't too bad actually. We have two new babies in the family Braxton (September) and Mia (November) so the holidays were so much fun. I remember when my babies were "the" babies -- now D is all of 14, going on 30. December complete.

My DH and I have decided that adding to our brood is a great idea, I mean, when you have three...what's one more? Honestly! We were ecstatic to see that little pink plus sign on the pregnancy test mid-January. We wanted to keep it quiet, but we were so dang excited. The boys found out by seeing an app on my phone about pregnancy - oops, cats out of the bag. My DH told some friends when he was playing cards with the guys, who then told their wives....it spiraled. I've always heard you wait until 3 months to tell, Just in case. I never followed that "rule" per se. The kids told their friends, we told my mom....and the rest is history -- everyone knew. I felt like I was ballooning quickly, but by #4 - what do you expect. We went to our 8 week checkup, excited, nervous. My DH has no children of his own so the sonogram experience is all new. Dr. starts looking.....three sacs, no heartbeat. Three sacs? WTH? We were heartbroken. Here we were, all excited to see the very first glimpse of the life we created and in a moments time, it was shattered. The dr. assured us the the pregnancy was not viable but we were to come back in a week. A week was a very long time. 2nd visit - 2 sacs, no heartbeat. I came into work, although looking back I'm not sure why, because I blubbered my way through the day. After the 3rd visit, we had to make a decision. My body was not letting go, and in order for me to emotionally let go, I decided to have a D&C. The anticipation was the worse part of it, I was out during the procedure and pretty much slept the afternoon after it was done. I'm moving on, and after our follow up appointment tomorrow, we plan to try again.